Nowadays, in the era of google and youtube, we keep getting several types of ads, based on our likes and preferences on the digital media.
Personally, I prefer a healthy lifestyle and intend to take good care of my body. I dig and try to get the deeper and right information from my digital means in this quest. What I observed during this while, is that the most frequent ads I get, are the ads related to losing weight, making abs, looking slim, and so on.
Listening and seeing these ads, I was forced to think that my BMI index is just slightly more than normal and so to bring it down, I have to do a hell of a lot of things.
Who are they to decide that I have to lose some grams to bring it to the normal BMI index? Let’s give them a benefit as they are based on artificial intelligence and work on the data.
But what about our near and dear ones or the far ones. Why do these people feel the urge to tell you how you are physically and what needs to be done to be perfect?
What is the definition of perfect? What I believe is the definition of perfection can vary for every individual and also the quench for perfection should come from within yourself.
Here, I would like to narrate a small incident, recently I had gone to buy a crop-top, I selected one and tried while somebody with me suggested that I should not go for it as my stretch marks were visible.
Why I should be ashamed of showing my stretch marks, have I done something so bad by bringing a being into this world, that I need to foster guilt for it and hide it's beautiful (yes, I or every mother will call it painful but beautiful) memories.
In fact, I would proudly say, I am a mother, and whichever changes happens in the mother’s body during the pregnancy is beautiful, sacred, and divine, accept it and if needed flaunt it.
We might have observed, we keep getting articles like if you have a broader shoulder, wear such type of dresses which will make your shoulder less prominent, if you have a higher forehead, avoid such type of hairstyles, such type of make-up to show your eyes bigger, lips smaller and if you have a little bodyweight, wear such and such type of dresses, which will make you look slim, do such and such so on.
Why we have defined and underlined some special features of the body to be right and others not to be right.
If we talk in the words of Science, all beings are meant to have different or unique features, which helps nature in evolution, good gene selection, and ultimately help them in their survival with the changing times and eras. So, how come we can decide, which is a better feature and which is not?
Now, talking about women, it is said that we women don’t reveal our correct ages and want to be a teenager forever. Why do we do so? Why do we feel shy or awkward in revealing our correct ages, what is wrong in looking old, if we are getting old or what is so good about getting old but looking young?
When we talk about a fit body, it's not necessary that a body with extra kilograms is not fit and a body with lesser kilograms are fit. What I feel is instead of focusing on the weight, our major focus should be on getting a body with minimal deficiency of nutrients, vitamins, and minerals and strong immunity. Don't you think, these could be the right parameters of a fit body.
And above all, gaining weight and losing weight in our various phases of life is normal and natural, one should not get obsessed with the idea of getting slimmer and so, better.
We, the women, are put more under this scanner of beauty standards as compared to the other sections of society. The reason, we undergo body changes due to hormonal changes/imbalance, many times more than men during our life cycle. Secondly, we are the chosen ones to carry the crown of the epitome of beauty and perfection to seduce the other gender of the society, bitter but true.
In our corporate culture too, I and many like me would have observed that women are more judged on their looks & appearance and not based on their actual talents. We are crushed like anything in this game of appearance versus abilities, in our workplaces.
Above these reasons, very well explains why we end up spending too much time and money (as per one research, it is 55 minutes a day and $300K in their lifetime just on their faces) in the beauty preparations instead of focussing more on the significant goals and pursuits.
While summarizing the above, a piece of advice for all those women who tend to shatter their self-confidence while meeting those false beauty standards, enforced by social media and society.
Please don’t get carried away with the postpartum loss of weight and to have a beach body, the showbiz stars encourage, and if you don’t get, get depressed.
If you have already got brains, please don’t get obsessed by the idea of looking perfect (as per the standards defined by others) and so-called "presentable" at your workplace, instead, put your valuable energy and time into becoming an important asset to society.
Please don't feel elated, if somebody compliments you by saying beauty with brain. Since ultimately your brain will take you to the peaks and with such praises, people are sidelining your intelligence against your physical appearance.
Please don't get indulged in self-criticism, instead, inculcate self-contention and self-confidence.
Please chuck the idea of boosting your confidence by enhancing your physical features while trying to meet beauty standards.
We, as women need to think and overcome, this ideal of society. We should not allow others to define our beauty and fitness standards and even if any kind of change is required or needed, then we should be there to introspect and decide our standards.
If we continue this idea, we will keep on thriving the elements like anxiety, depression, dysmorphia, eating orders, self-harm, and low self-esteem within ourselves.
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